Let it Die

Well, with another relationship disaster under my belt and all of the experience that goes along with it, I can only hope to be more "wise" when it comes to these things. For those of you who are fortunate enough to know me well (ha ha) know that this particular breakup was difficult for me.

Now, I am feeling much better since... well, lets not use his name. From now on he will be referred to as "X". Yes, my dear friends, I am feeling much better since my relationship with X tragically ended, but I would be in complete denial if I said that I didn't miss him. The truth is that I miss him a lot. And even though the hurt feelings are not on the surface anymore, I would be lying if I said they weren't there.

So how do you deal with it? Unfortunatley, the only awnsers I seem to get are other questions. One of these questions is how could someone that I care about that much make me feel so bad?

When you like someone a lot you have high expectations for them and when those expectations aren't met I seem to turn to myself. I feel like I really should have known better. Which leads me to yet another question: Was it worth it.

So was it? Ultimately, I found someone that I thought enriched my life... a good friend and someone who I could really laugh and share with. X and I had a lot of fun together and then, sadly, it was over. I haven't talked to X once since the breakup and its been 3 weeks.
So where do you go from here? The way I see it is you don't go anywhere. I have a good friend who's life mantra seems to be "that's life" and when shes dealing with something shitty, this is what comes up. But it is true. This is life. Its just an experience to build and learn from. It is part of the process, and as painful as it can be, its beautiful because it makes you grow. Failed relationships can only be looked at as pointless if there is no growth, therefore what I experienced with X was priceless, hurt feelings or not, and I am a better person for it.

Song of the day: Feist- Let it die

**** I would like to give a special thanks to John Mayer, Feist, Ryan Adams, Eva Cassidy and the many other artists that helped me along the way. I love you all.