Let it Die

Well, with another relationship disaster under my belt and all of the experience that goes along with it, I can only hope to be more "wise" when it comes to these things. For those of you who are fortunate enough to know me well (ha ha) know that this particular breakup was difficult for me.

Now, I am feeling much better since... well, lets not use his name. From now on he will be referred to as "X". Yes, my dear friends, I am feeling much better since my relationship with X tragically ended, but I would be in complete denial if I said that I didn't miss him. The truth is that I miss him a lot. And even though the hurt feelings are not on the surface anymore, I would be lying if I said they weren't there.

So how do you deal with it? Unfortunatley, the only awnsers I seem to get are other questions. One of these questions is how could someone that I care about that much make me feel so bad?

When you like someone a lot you have high expectations for them and when those expectations aren't met I seem to turn to myself. I feel like I really should have known better. Which leads me to yet another question: Was it worth it.

So was it? Ultimately, I found someone that I thought enriched my life... a good friend and someone who I could really laugh and share with. X and I had a lot of fun together and then, sadly, it was over. I haven't talked to X once since the breakup and its been 3 weeks.
So where do you go from here? The way I see it is you don't go anywhere. I have a good friend who's life mantra seems to be "that's life" and when shes dealing with something shitty, this is what comes up. But it is true. This is life. Its just an experience to build and learn from. It is part of the process, and as painful as it can be, its beautiful because it makes you grow. Failed relationships can only be looked at as pointless if there is no growth, therefore what I experienced with X was priceless, hurt feelings or not, and I am a better person for it.

Song of the day: Feist- Let it die

**** I would like to give a special thanks to John Mayer, Feist, Ryan Adams, Eva Cassidy and the many other artists that helped me along the way. I love you all.

Me and my Baby 

Lydia's and my new life plan

Its Sunday!! Which means its the weekly Lydia's gig for me so I decided that my first blog would be about Lydia's.

It was recently brought to my attention(as of yesterday) that the owners of Lydia's are wanting to make some changes to Lydia's... Evil changes.

Now don't get me wrong... I don't mind change. I'm not always comfortable with it but I can realize that it is an important part of life and its what keeps things interesting. Life would cease to exist as we know it without change. But this is totally different.

The owners want to make Lydia's into a night club... a sleazy meat market where the chicks are as cheap as the booze is and the men are all creeps. There would be no live music and the bands would be replaced with dj's playing top 40 hiphop. And this, my friends, CAN'T HAPPEN.

Lydia's is one of the only places in the city where one can show up alone and listen to live music almost every night of the week... and a lot of times without paying cover. They support live music and on top of that there are great people there. Its diversity is unusual for a pub and I can honestly say I have met some of the most interesting people I know at Lydia's. Its a gem. This is why I refuse to let Lydia's be turned into a meat market and totally sell out.

So I have devised a plan.

I will drop out of school, get a big, fat loan from the bank, make the jerky owners an offer they won't be able to refuse and buy it. Lydia's will be mine and live music will be safe once again and we will all live happily after drinking and being merry and listening to HOT live music at my favorite place in S'toon... Lydia's.